Disclaimer– I got few queries through mail in which readers wanted to know whether the posts I write here are fiction or connected to my life. I want to thank them first for reading my blog posts with such excitement. I want them to know that all the stories and poems are just my way to express different situations and emotions encountered by different people. Though there are some quotes that explain my experiences, but again, Free Spirit is here to heal. So, I can only say that the story shared in this post is just a story with a hidden message. If it resembles someone’s life, it is merely a coincidence. (please let me know if it hits your life, I would love to know) I am writing it for my readers. I am a writer and in my writing, there is always some hidden message. Smarter ones get it. 😉 Thank you.
“Should I tell him that it’s not working? What if he would fight? What if he would say nothing? What if he would stop communicating? What if?”
What if you could say how you feel about the situation? What if you live free without regret? What if you will never see you cry?
Life revolves around it. We talk to ourselves so much that we have no words to say to others. This WHAT IF is always there. Why this WHAT IF never leaves you alone. Maybe ‘coz you think so deep. And this is what you should stop doing every other time. I am not saying you should stop thinking deep, but you should never overthink.
Aarush was going through his WhatsApp friend list. He often read the status of his contacts. Suddenly a number made him stop scrolling down. He opened the contact and lost. Those eyes, he never thought he had to live without HER. Thousands of thoughts coming to his mind – “To message or not to??? To say hello or not to? What if she won’t reply?” With a deep breath, he wrote –
Will she reply? Maybe I have done a mistake? I shouldn’t have sent her a message. She would think I am desperate. Shit.
“Hi” his eyes became wider while seeing her reply.
“How are you?” He asked her.
She- “Badhia. How are you? How’s life?”
He- “It’s good.”
She- “Telling the truth or hiding likewise?”
He- “ 🙂 “
3 minutes pause
She- “Where is she?”
He- “Stuck in some work. She will return in the morning.”
She- “Everything is OK?”
He- “Yes, absolutely.”
“So what are you doing these days?”
She- “The same life…”
He- “Can I ask you something?”
Tell me how to forget you. It’s been time. Very long time. 7 years are enough to forget people with whom we are not connected. Why cannot I do the same? Why every time I see you I forget everything. EVERYTHING. INCLUDING ME. The more I stop myself not to think about you, the more I think. I tried everything. EVERYTHING. But this seems permanent. Something ETERNAL. I am trying to be normal. I want to live this life like before. I want to feel. I told you that life is nothing without you. I cannot live without you. I am dying. Or better say I AM DEAD. Because the New Me is untouched, unknown to you. He deleted it, and asked-
“Have you got any boyfriend?”
She- “No, I don’t. I don’t even want to have any.”
He- “What happened to him? Why you guys broke up?”
She- “His hands were full.”
He- Why you never saw me waiting for you? I tried so many times, but destiny has its own plans. I won’t say I am happy with this relationship, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be. Why you never read that message clearly in which I told you I WANT YOU. Why you could not confess. Why you never talked to me directly instead of using your friend’s ID? You should know I always recognized it when I talked to you. Is that my fault to make you like this? Is that me who has made you so afraid of love? AM I that BAD? AM I that CRUEL? Or is it the guilt that made you like this? Hmmm, don’t worry, you are saved. You will find someone better.
She- “yeah, leave it. Tell me how are you? Send me your marriage pic. You forget to send me. You said you will send it.”
He- “Why you didn’t say ‘yes’ when I wanted to bring the things back.” He asked what comes in his heart that moment.”
“And I remembered but I didn’t send it to you.” He sent the pic.
“Not everything is written in our destiny. You were that EVERYTHING.” She answered him.
“Beautiful” She replied after seeing the pic.
“Thanks, every couple looks beautiful on marriage.” He took that compliment casually.
“Nope, not everyone looks beautiful.” She said it simply.
If I was that EVERYTHING, then why you never made me stay? At least accept it now, you never truly loved me because things would have been different if it was true. Or maybe you did it once for a while. Maybe that guy stopped you to talk to me. But that’s Okay. I have no complaint. I don’t hate you for anything. The way you abused me among your friends, the way you felt pleasure in making me cry and everything else. But I lost reasons to love you now. Maybe you have now realized what I did was good for both of us (if not for you, then at least for me). and maybe this is the reason you are talking to me today. “I need to sleep now. It’s 4am. I have a job tomorrow.” He said “take care” in the end.
To be continued—-
Read the next part here- For the last time